Engagement party. Wedding social. Wedding social. Bridal shower. Wedding social. Wedding. Bridal shower. Wedding. Wedding. Probably some more wedding socials, showers and stagettes. Wedding. Wedding....
This is my schedule for the rest of the summer.
Are any of these events for me? No.
You'd think that after being engaged twice (failed relationships, thankfully) and having a child, it would finally be my turn. Nope.
Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for my family and friends that are getting married, and I know I sound like a Debbie Downer, but it's just really starting to get to me, especially with the umpteen-billion weddings that are going on this year. Granted, I know this is natural for any girl my age, but it really starts to make me wonder "am I marry-able?". Total paranoia and anxiety, I know.
The other problem with all of this is that I am absolutely ADDICTED to weddings. Not so much the whole background of the major event, but the concept of being able to design to its entirety what is supposed to be the most important day of your life. The dress, the cake, the flowers, the colours... Everything in it's utmost glamour to your liking. It's like creativity high for do-it-yourselfers.
As you can probably tell, I am at a total war with myself. I'm getting annoyed and irritated beyond belief at some times, but yet I still need more.
On the positive side of all of my obvious whining, my sister is FINALLY getting married this fall to her boyfriend of 7 years. When she told me he proposed, my initial reaction was "you're joking?", followed by rejoice, and "it's about @#!?ing time!". Peter and I have been together for just about 3 years now and I'm going nuts, I can't even begin imagine how she had been feeling that whole time. On that note, another positive is that I get to be in a bridal party for the first time in my life. Being her maid-of-honour, I don't feel like I've been doing as much as I should, nor do I really know what sorts of things I should be doing, but I am proud to say that I helped her pick her wedding dress, and I'm making her a cocktail dress to wear for her bridal shower, so I guess it evens things out, sort of.
Actually, to make an accurate adjustment to my initial statement, I have a love-hate relationship for weddings. I love that the people I care about have found their soul mates, and I love that I get to play some sort of part in their special day, whether it's by being a guest, making their dress, or being in the bridal party. I just hate that I've hit that age bracket where everyone is apparently getting married, and that none of those people are me..
Good things come to those who wait, though, right?
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Sweet Dreams Are Made Of These..
They say that the eyes are the window into the soul.
But what if you can't see into someones eyes?
Where can you begin to understand how a person is truly feeling? What sort of experiences they've lived through? Their heartbreak? Joy? What is left to see who that person truly is?
While this may not be the beginning of my written journey, it is a window being opened to release the musty air in exchange for mental vitality that has been withering over the years, though still remaining strong.
For those of you that know me, you know that I have always had a strong passion for communication. Whether it is literal or metaphorical, verbal or physical, it is how we all coexist together. But when that communication gets lost in translation, it changes the whole outlook of that original message. Growing up, fearing for my life and sanity, the pen and paper became my best friends. Poetry and song have been the only way I have truly been able to release my thoughts and memories.
This is one of the reasons I became part of one of the most important things in my life, my band, Nocturnal Divinity. Though they are not just a band, they are my family. Together, we have been able to create beautiful music with all of our emotions combined into one. In 5 years, we have shared many laughs, tears, anger and frustration, but it did not come without a good cause. We have been able to share with the world (or at least those closest to us) the deepest parts of our souls without having to say a single word.
Without them, I would not be the person I am today, but I cannot truthfully give them the full credit. There are many others that made me who I am. My parents, my sister, friends both retained and lost, but most importantly, the loves of my life, my boyfriend and my daughter. But that is a whole other story..
But what if you can't see into someones eyes?
Where can you begin to understand how a person is truly feeling? What sort of experiences they've lived through? Their heartbreak? Joy? What is left to see who that person truly is?
Words.
While this may not be the beginning of my written journey, it is a window being opened to release the musty air in exchange for mental vitality that has been withering over the years, though still remaining strong.
You cannot be seen if you are not heard.
For those of you that know me, you know that I have always had a strong passion for communication. Whether it is literal or metaphorical, verbal or physical, it is how we all coexist together. But when that communication gets lost in translation, it changes the whole outlook of that original message. Growing up, fearing for my life and sanity, the pen and paper became my best friends. Poetry and song have been the only way I have truly been able to release my thoughts and memories.
This is one of the reasons I became part of one of the most important things in my life, my band, Nocturnal Divinity. Though they are not just a band, they are my family. Together, we have been able to create beautiful music with all of our emotions combined into one. In 5 years, we have shared many laughs, tears, anger and frustration, but it did not come without a good cause. We have been able to share with the world (or at least those closest to us) the deepest parts of our souls without having to say a single word.
Without them, I would not be the person I am today, but I cannot truthfully give them the full credit. There are many others that made me who I am. My parents, my sister, friends both retained and lost, but most importantly, the loves of my life, my boyfriend and my daughter. But that is a whole other story..
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)